Monday, February 4, 2008

I'm Still Here

I was touched to receive a comment from Feminist Gal today asking "Where are you? You haven't posted in a while." Wow, people actually read my blog, how cool! Well, I'm here. Last week I got a horrific virus that had me puking my guts up for about 10 hours and landed me in the ER due to dehydration. Fun fun. My poor boyfriend had to take me to the ER at 4:45 am, where even though there were only 2 other people in the waiting room we had to wait over an hour, and I had to keep walking to the bathroom to puke.

Speaking of which, whenever a woman of child bearing age who isn't sterilized goes to the doctor or hospital, for any kind of illness, they HAVE to see if you are pregnant. Fine, I understand that they have to take that precaution because many medications can't be given to pregnant women. They asked me if I was pregnant and when my last period was. I answerd that no, I was not pregnant and that my period had just ended. The nurse asks "Is there a chance you could be pregnant?" Well, yeah, I guess, but it has to be pretty damn small since I just told you I just finished my period and I use birth control. I mean, I'm not a statistician, but what kind of answer are they looking for? Since I haven't had a form of permanent sterilization, I can't give them an absolute no.

Then, since my boyfriend is, of course, sitting and waiting with me, one nurse keeps calling me "Mrs." even though I correct her. What, she's never heard of anyone living with their significant other? That wasn't that bad though. Once I was at Georgetown University Hospital, which is Catholic, and even though I was there without my boyfriend at the time, EVERYONE there called me "Mrs." For some reason they seemed to assume that any female over 25 must be married. Weird.

In other news, I made an appointment with a different doctor to talk to her about getting a tubal. My boyfriend and I actually discussed this while at the hospital last week. I was telling him that all of the forms of hormonal birth control had side effects that ruled them out for me, or made me not want to try them. I said "I wish I could just have my tubes tied, that way I could just take the pill to keep my periods under control." He agreed and said it would make the most sense. Then I thought "Wouldn't it be great to NEVER have to worry about getting pregnant again? Yes, yes it would!"

So I have an appointment for next Wednesday. We'll see how it goes. I am going to tell her that I've known for four years that I don't want to have children and that hasn't changed. I'm 32, so hopefully she will take me seriously. If she shows hesitation (as other doctors have) I'll ask at what magic age she will be comfortable giving me a tubal. Or Essure, I'll ask her about that too. That would make my life easier!


Renee said...

I had an appt at the hospital last week and when the radiologist asked me if there was a chance I could be pregnant, I laughed in her face.

At my (Catholic) college health center, that's the first thing they assume. Cramps? Let's check for a baby. Sore throat? Baby check. Blind in one eye? Baby check. Broken arm? Are you SURE you're not pregnant?

Nancy said...

I had a similar experience, I fainted in a store, and so I was carted off the emergency room. I was with my Mom at the time, so she was there too, the doctor comes in and one of the first things he asked me was if I was pregnant, I kind of laughed and said no. And he asked if I was sure, I said yes, the admitting nurse or whatever you call them had asked me when the date of my last period was and it was only two days before, so I was positive that I was not pregnant. I guess I look much younger than I actually am since I'm almost 27 and I still get carded for R rated movies, but after I said that I was sure I wasn't pregnant, the doctor glances over at my mother, and goes into a whole spiel about undiagnosed pregnancy being the leading cause of blah blah blah, like I was some stupid teenager and I was lying because my Mom was there! I was angry, I just wish that I hadn't been raised to be polite so I could have told him what I was thinking.

KlevaBich said...

First, I hope you're over this virus and feeling better.

JUST last night the issue of "Mrs." came up for me. For some unknown reason, Safeway cashiers feel they must know how to pronounce your last name before they can hand you your receipt. EVERY time this happens I swear that next time I'll tear them a new one, and EVERY time I go in there (which is seldom) they are nice and cordial and take me by surprise and nada.

But last night my Spousal Equivalent was with me, and swear to dog she said (after prompting for the pronunciation) "Thank you Mr. and Mrs. XXXXX." WTF?

I'm writing a harsh letter.

Feminist Gal said...

Glad to see you back but i'm so confused... when i commented that on your January 15th post, it said that was the last entry you made... but now there are a bunch of posts after Jan 15th... for some reason those weren't visible (at least to me haha) until today. So weird. Anyway :) glad you're feeling better :)

Emilializ said...

I just have a question. You call yourself a feminist, but did you know that the organized childfree movement (which, I must add, does not include everyone who decides not to have children) is one of the most misogynistic groups out there? For example, some childfree posters on the Internet almost seemed to cheer about Lacie Peterson's murder.

Let me be clear: I don't think everybody who decides not to have children falls into this category. Feminist leader Gloria Steinem, for instance, decided never to have children, but she doesn't refer to mothers as "moos" or "breeders."

So how can you reconcile your feminism with endorsements of sites that degrade women?

GottabeMe said...

Emilializ, you made some pretty big assumptions:

1 - that there is an "organized childfree movement". As far as I know, there are some various childfree groups, but no one organized childfree movement. Also, I wouldn't say it's a "movement"...the lists I'm on are pretty much just places where CF people go to talk to other people who share their CF views.

2 - There are members of No Kidding on the CF lists I am on. I have not seen them express any misogynistic views or gladness at any murder. I'm not sure where you saw childfree people say that they were cheering Lacy Petersen's murder, but just because a few trolls posted that somewhere "on the internet" doesn't mean that all, or even most, CF people would share that sentiment, as you yourself acknowledge. So why would I even have to defend this?

3 - you asked "So how can you reconcile your feminism with endorsements of sites that degrade women?" Um, what sites? And what do you mean by "degrade women"? Yes, some CF people refer to people who have kids as "breeders" or "moos". That doesn't mean all CF people use those terms or agree with them. CF people are individuals, it's not as if they all think exactly the same thoughts. As far as me endorsing sites - what sites have I endoresed? I have no idea what you mean by that.