Monday, January 7, 2008

So Nobody in This Country Can Crap?

I didn't know this, but thank goodness that the advertising industry is here to fill me in: apparently the United States is full of people who can't crap. There are the good old stand bys like FiberCon and Metamucil. The commercials usually feature older people.

But now there is a veritable plethora of new products designed to help the average American crap. On a regular schedule.

Activia's selling point is "bifidus regularis". Which I think the "specialists" at Dannon made up. Their commercials are targeted at women of different age groups. Apparently people at Dannon think women have a real problem with crapping regularly. And bloating. Bloating is always mentioned. Female college students complain about how exams make them eat pizza, which evidently immediately causes college students to get stopped up. And for two women working at a store - eating Chinese takeout seemed to put a cork in them. The most annoying part of the commercial set om the store was a parrot that kept repeating "Activia!"

But that's not all. Kraft came up with snack foods that help you crap! On a regular schedule! LiveActive snack foods help to "maintain digestive health". Hilariously, here is even a tab on the web site called "Join the movement". Somehow I don't think then intended the pun. So far they have developed two snacsk: cheese and cottage cheese.

Well, I don't know about you, but I just had no idea that there was such a demand for this type of product. I'm just glad I'm not one of the people that needs them. Maybe that's why so many people are so grouchy.


Smirking Cat said...

I noticed that commercials for laxatives always have women in them too, beaming and grinning because of their newfound ability to go to the bathroom regularly...I was curious why women have been targeted for these commercials. Watching TV commercials, you would begin to believe that being female is a host of bodily problems, issues, and disturbances all wrapped up in one horrific experience. Care to venture a guess that men raised on the "not-so-fresh-feeling" commericals make these commercials?

InnerKeening said...

well... actually... I do have bloating and crapping issues and eat that yogurt stuff and it does help, but I'm getting old and feeble. At least I don't have a lot of problems getting out of the house early in the morning like Hillary Clinton and most other women because not pooping and getting out the house would be hell in the mornings I think.