Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Rant: Pregnancy Details

No, not all posts on this blog will be about my child free status, the fact that I have no desire to have kids, or at all relating to children. But when something comes up that irks me or bugs me and I want to vent about it, I will vent about it here. That's what this blog is for.

So, I volunteer with a non profit animal rescue organization. Yesterday a volunteer posted an update about a foster dog that had had a severe allergic reaction to a bug bite. He had to be on antibiotics and prednisone for a while. She sent an update saying that he was much better and almost back to normal, which we were all glad to hear.

Then, at the end, she tacks on a sentence about how her daughter will be having her baby any day now, because x event had happened. I will spare you the profoundly private and intimate detail she shared, because it was something I didn't know about until about 5 years ago when a loud, tactless coworker was sharing the details of her pregnancy at a volume where everyone within 15 feet could hear her perfectly. Suffice it to say that immediately after reading about that detail, I have several reactions:
  • I know much, much more about this woman's daughter than I should. I don't know her name, her age, her husband's name, or where she lives, so I should not know this detail about her!
  • WOW, pregnancy is gross! I mean, I knew before that it was messy, yucky, and that I wanted nothing to do with it, but it's even grosser than I knew.
  • I am sooooooooooooo glad I'm not having kids!
  • I am sooooooooooooo glad that my SO does not want kids!
  • Dogs are sooooooooooo much easier than kids!
  • Nausea
  • I think I threw up a little in my mouth, must get a drink of water, no something stronger tasting to get the taste of vomit out of my mouth
  • my SO asked what I wanted to order for dinner. Nothing now!
  • Why, God, WHY did she have to sneak that nasty, nasty pregnancy detail in? There are unsuspecting people like me who don't want to hear about pregnancy, just want to hear how the foster dog is doing, and now feel sick!
  • I bet this woman's daugher would be pissed if she knew her mom had just told a group of 40 people this detail about her

So, to all of you people out there who are expecting, have had kids, or know someone who just had a kid - please, share quietly, and don't foist that information on everyone around you. TRUST ME, there are many, many people who don't want to hear those details. Many of them are just too polite to walk up to you and go "Would you please discuss that in private? Not all of us want to hear about how far apart your contractions were when your water broke."


Anonymous said...

Great entry! Nothing pisses me off more than to be a captive audience to someone who is disclosing way too much information regarding their pregancy. I had a dance teacher a few years back who was undergoing infertility treatments(don't get me started on that shit). Anyway, she told us way more than any of us wanted to know. Finally, whenever she would start discussing her cervical mucus( I shit you not) I would chirp "TMI...ew!". Heh

Angry Grrl said...

Hear, hear. If we are not related by blood (and even if we are in some cases), I do NOT want to hear about your gross bodily functions.

Chris W. said...

Bravo! I had this situation happen to me at work on one occasion where some girl was sharing every JUICY detail with me, simply because I was "nice" enough to acknowledge her pregnancy. As she nattered on and on and on and on with that vapid, airheaded, brainwashed look on her face, I could only nod while, back in my mind, I was saying "Someone please just hit me now and knock my ass out!". Finally I just excused myself hurriedly and went into a lockable room!

Thank God that most people aren't THAT open!

Michelle L. said...

Pregnancy always makes me think of the movie "Alien", but other than that, I don't want to hear about it. If anyone shares the details of their pregnancy with me, I immediately start to talk about having to help my grandfather with his colostomy bag. In fact, the bag of poop is less gross, in my opinion.