When I'm stressed or frustrated about something, I find it cathartic to do some Photoshop therapy. Warning - high levels of sarcasm to follow. Recently my mom had to travel to South America due to a death in the family. My stepdad couldn't go, which made things much easier for her, since he's given to anxiety and overreacting. To give you an idea, this is a man who knows that my mom usually gets home at 5:15 and calls at around that time (he works nights). If she isn't home by 5:30 and isn't answering her cell phone, by 7 he starts calling friends asking if they know where she is. My mom HATES this and gets pissed every time. God forbid she go to a friend's for dinner and forget to turn on her cell phone - Dad pratically puts out an APB.
We all use Skype, which makes calling much cheaper, and of course we've been calling to see how my mom is doing, as well as other family members. My step dad tried to call several times on Saturday and again on Sunday. He called me asking if I had talked to her. I said no, I had called a few times but nobody had picked up. I kept telling him not to freak out, that she was fine, she grew up there, speaks the language perfectly, she's with family, and she knows a lot of people there. She's fine. Of course, he keeps calling me to let me know he hasn't been able to get a hold of her.
Finally today he leaves a message on my cell phone saying that last night he couldn't stand it and called one of my aunts to see if she knew where my mom was. My aunt said everything was fine, the phones weren't working in part of the city, hopefully it would be fixed today. He admitted he had been freaking out. Well, at least now I don't have to worry about calming him down. But I had to do some Photoshop therapy to vent my frustrations.
And here is the hotel my mom is staying at. As you can see, they have excellent security. I don't know why my dad was worrying so much!
Sorry I've been away for a while, a relative passed away recently and I've been taking a break from being online so much.
Now, here are some things I just have to bring up:
Sarah Haskins has struck again, and it's pure platinum!
I can't decide which one I like better, the yogurt one or this one. They're both so hilarious and spot on! I am so FREAKING SICK of Jamie Lee Curtis discussing her digestive health! But I am also so FREAKING SICK of the plethora of wedding shows, which insiunate that all women think about weddings all the time. Single women long for their "special day", which we've ALL been dreaming about since we were little girls, of course. And married women just love to relive their glory day, apparently. Who wants to join me in sending a "You Rock!" card to Sarah Haskins?
And of course, the nutty right wingers at the American Life League are planning "The Pill Kills" day on Saturday, June 7th, the 33rd anniversary of Griswold v. Connecticut, which struck down a Connecticut ban which prohibited birth control. Yes, it flat out prohibited birth control, even for married couples, regardless of whether they already had kids or not. Feministing.com has a fantastic article about the craptastic propaganda that ALL is pushing about the birth control pill, and RH Reality Check has another good article about it, and goes into ALL's nutty talking points on their web site. Ugh.
I know I've blogged about this before, when I first noticed the plethora of commercials about yogurts (and even cheeses) that help you crap regularly. Now, thank goodness, another woman who found these commercials even more annoying than I do has made fun of them!
Oh thank goodness, I'm not the only one who thinks that these ridiculous commercials are a load of crap (so to speak). Based on these commercials, you'd think that women have extraordinarily sensitive digestive systems, and that consuming the least bit of fast food, or encounting even minor stress throws everything off and the poor thing is stopped up and bloated for weeks. Apparently this is not as big of a problem for men, although the only commercial I've seen targeting men who suffer form constipation was hilarious.
Is it something that has been coming on gradually? Or did it happen suddenly, and that's why it's taking me by surprise?
Suddenly I see evidence of the human population's stupidity everywhere. I can't NOT see it.
A few days ago, I noticed that some of the headlines on cnn.com have t-shirt icons next to them. If you click on the t-shirt icon, you see the headline available on various t-shirts.
Two questions came to mind - why would anyone want a headline on a t-shirt, and is there really a demand for this?
In other news, feminism, the quest for women to have rights equal to men's, is bad for the environment, according to Jack Cashill (I have no idea who the hell he is). The title of his column says it all: "Feminism is bad for the environment". According to Cashill, women demanding equal pay for equal work are also to blame for increased people driving to and from work every day, which increases pollution. Well-off moms are especially to blame since they have sitters or nannies drive the kids to school, putting three cars on the road (dad's, mom's and nanny's), whereas if mothers home schooled their kids, they would eliminate the pollution and traffice of school buses, carpools, and moms and/or nannies driving kids to school. Yeah, blame women for wanting education, or God forbid, a career that will allow them to provide for themselves and help to provide for their families! Blame women for the fact that the cost of living is so freaking high in many parts of this country that supporting a family that includes kids on a single income is becoming more and more difficult to do.
Also, the whole environmental awareness thing is really just a conspiracy to make abortion sound like a good idea. Yup, the Family Research Council send out an email on Earth Day (April 22, 2008) saying:
"Today isn't just another reminder to use recycled paper or drive energy-efficient cars. It's a calculated attack on the sanctity of human life. Population control is inextricably linked to the environmental and abortion movements. [...] The crisis du jour is global warming, but even that is just another excuse to fund "Planet" Parenthood and similar groups."
Yup, they figured it out - the whole thing is a plot by feminists to make abortion sound like a good idea. All those "facts" about pollution, landfills, contaminated drinking water, shortage of natural resources and overpopulation - it's all lies. Nevermind that the price of gas is soaring - it's all lies.
By now, probably everyone has heard about the DC madam trial currently underway in DC. When I first heard about it, it was on the morning news as my SO and I were getting ready for work and listening to traffic and weather reports. I didn't hear the segment about it, as I was blow drying my hair, but my boyfriend said he thought it was ridiculous that some people were calling the trial sexist for putting women on the stand who had worked as prostitutes. And originally I agreed. They broke the law and are now in court. That's what happens when you break the law, you usually suffer some consequences.
However, in further articles that I've seen about it, I learned that only the women who had worked as prostitutes were being made to testify, and grilled with unecessary and humiliating questions and having their names made publicwhile the male politicians who paid the women for sex were getting a free pass - only one has been subpoenaed to appear in court, their names are not being revealed (Vitter admitted he was a client of Palfrey's), and they aren't being charged with anything so far. THAT is the sexist part. In order to be fair, the rules and laws have to be applied and enforced equally for everyone - nobody gets a free pass, no matter what. The defense subpoenaed Louisiana Senator David Vitter to testify, and Vitter, through his lawyer, has said that he will not testify and that his testimony would be "totally inappropriate". Kind of like asking a woman how she did sex work while she had her period?
Sen. David Vitter of Louisiana and other powerful men appear likely to get a pass. Less lucky: the 15 terrified women being hauled by prosecutors into court to recount in graphic detail their past work as prostitutes -- and more than 100 other former prostitutes whose names prosecutors are trying to make public.
Wednesday, prosecutors forced a 63-year-old retired PhD - her name, like those of other witnesses, now a matter of public record - to testify about inducing orgasms in her client; the government's lawyers had similar questions for a mother of three who worked briefly for the escort service nearly 15 years ago.
Prosecutor Catherine Connelly asked the following questions of the retired 63 year old PhD:
"Did you specifically discuss what happened when you went in the shower?" the prosecutor wanted to know.
The witness explained, "I was having sex."
"What would happen if you were menstruating?" Connelly asked.
Yes, clearly that's crucial to a trial about whether Palfrey ran a legal escort service or a prostitution ring. And there isn't even the excuse that the prosecution is concerned that this was a major money laundering operation - estimates put the businesses' earnings at $2 million over 13 years. That's nothing compared to the call girl ring that former New York governor David Spitzer patronized. It certainly doesn't explain why the male politicians who also broke the law are being protected, while the women are being publicly shamed and humiliated. Ironically, Vitter is a sponsor of the Marriage Protection Act of 2007. I'd like to ask him how paying women for sex protects his marriage?
Something that surprises many people, including those who know me in real life, becuase they can't guess my racial heritage by looking at me, is that I'm Hispanic. My parents are from Bogota, Colombia. I was born and raised in the US, and grew up speaking both English and Spanish until I started kindergarten. From that point on I stopped using Spanish and just spoke English. My mom wanted me to speak English really well, so she didn't use Spanish with me at home. At this point yes, I do wish I was totally fluent. I'm conversational, but there are certain verbs and tenses I have trouble with. I can read and write Spanish fairly well, but I couldn't read, say, an entire book in Spanish without constantly looking up words.
Yesterday a friend sent me a YouTube link to a Spanish campaign commercial for Hillary Clinton. At first I thought it was a joke, since it was set to a song called "Hillary, Hillary Clinton", which is in the style of old merengue music. The vidoe on YouTube featured photos of Hillary with lots of Hispanic people, including actress America Fererra, at rallies with lots of Hispanic people holding up Clinton campaign signs, a photo of Hillary with a Hispanic little boy in traditional Mexican mariachi dress, etc. There is also the "Oye Hillary - Latinas for Hillary" video and song, which is, well...see for yourself. And then you can catch an example of Hillary's Spanish speaking...yeah...she didn't pick the pronunciation up any better than that despite having spent so much time with her Hispanic supporters?
Then there are Obama's Spanish campaign videos. Take a wild guess at the demographic he's appealing to with this one. Yeah, I know, that's a real brainteaser. Take your time.
But then he also wanted to appeal to the urban Hispanic youth, so he made another Spanish commercial in the style of reggaeton. Damn, his marketing team is brilliant.
I sent these to my mom and cousins. My mom laughed, but then said, "How ridiculous. They act fake and go shake hands and make a little video with Spanish music, and now we're supposed to vote for them? Why didn't they just film him eating tacos?" Actually, I'm surprised his marketing wizards didn't think of this.
Thanks to Feministe, who posted about the hilarious site Postcards from Yo Momma, which features actual emails and IMs that people have gotten from their mothers. I never thought it would be so funny! I've been reading it and cracking up all morning. Here are some of my favorites:
Mom and the kayak
"mom: I hated kayaking so much this weekend I used the F word on Dad mom: He kayaked away for awhile and I was lost mom: stupid me mom: don't use the F word unless you can find home mom: but he felt sorry for me cause I was paddling backwards at one point mom: actually, I found backwards more relaxing mom: but he thinks I was just incompetant"
About the Sign that Fell on Your Head
"I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M THINKING LIKE DAD NOW-BUT JUST IN CASE YOU HAVE TO SUE BED,BATH,ETC. FOR DAMAGES CAUSED BY THE SIGN FALLING ON YOUR HEAD, IT’S JUST ANOTHER GOOD REASON WHY YOU NEED TO GO TO THE DOC. FOR THEM TO CHECK IT OUT."
On 'The Change'
"FINALLY….IT IS OFFICIAL…..I AM IN THE TRANSITION STAGE TO MENOPAUSE. ISN’T THAT EXCITING?? Now I have an excuse to be a beaatch.
Due to all my symtoms as of late, the blood test does show elevated FSH which means I am moving on to my next stage of life. Not sure I am going to like it much.
Love Me"
Nordies
"Sweets –
C and T are spending Easter with us. I’m so excited. We haven’t seen them in ages. Yesterday was T’s birthday and they will be celebrating with her folks on Saturday and spend Sunday with us.
I bought a pair of size 6 Ralph Loren jeans at Nordies yesterday. I was there to check out your bra, but it’s just not good for my figure. So I’m gonna stick with Bali, the brand I’ve been wearing for 40 years. The ladies at Bible Buddies this morning said I looked “hot” in the jeans. Now I’ll have to wait to see what Daddy says.
I am in my early 30's, in a serious relationship, and neither of us want kids. I love animals, people not so much, and love to critique the media, politics, and pop culture. Oh, and I'm "one of those" feminists.
security. I don't know why my dad was worrying so much!
